Dangerous Book - Episode 25

Episode 25 January 15, 2010

Wednesday, April 24

My new boyfriend eats very slowly, as if counting every chew. He cooked me a dinner of curry and rice followed by a small key lime pie, which we polished off by taking alternate forkfuls.

“You have it,” I said. “I couldn’t eat another bite.”

“No, you’re the guest.”

This went back and forth until he licked his finger and pressed the remaining crumb with it. Then he held his finger to my mouth and I took the bit of crust from him, tasting his finger in the process. And so on and so on until my lips found friends with his.

Saturday April 27 evening

Croquet last night without Peter. In his place was a rounded and pretty woman named Lura, who arrived with Jacob and Kate. She seemed shy, at least, I found her so, but Jacob took care to teach her the rules we’ve been using and stuck with her. And the others seemed to take her appearance for granted, which reminded me again that I am the character recently introduced, not her. She simply hasn’t been seen for a chapter or two.

I found myself telling everyone that Peter had left a message on my home machine. “He has a job interview in Atlanta,” I said, hoping no one noticed the authority in my voice.

But it was Lura who knew which group he was visiting. She’d worked there herself all year and seemed responsible in some way for his opportunity now.

She mentioned her own family’s practice here, which she will soon join. I recognized the name from some of the more luxurious monuments at Evergreen as well as a curving road that cuts through the town’s small historic district. And so I felt diminished.

These women confuse me. Women like Lura born to a lifetime of belonging, who I know in my head will have plenty of troubles one way or another, but who to me are placed in my path as some kind of challenge.

So, I thought, Peter’s his career is underway. He will leave here. I had to know he would, didn’t I? Of course, I just hadn’t the time yet to think about it. Did I think I was going to fall in love and marry him?

The evening ended eventually. Professor S. slid past us at nearly midnight without greeting. I have not forgotten that he expected me to help him, but Veronica did not watch the game, no one brought any brownies. I didn’t know what he expected me to do or if I could confide his theories to Kate or Billie.